I just got a rejection email from an agent, and at first, I had this weird reaction. I didn't feel rejected. I felt more like I had gotten a bunch of suggestions for revisions that seemed hard and time-consuming and impossible to complete.
Now, reflecting on that feeling and rereading the email, I've realized something important. This is familiar territory. Even though it was technically a rejection, this agent gave me some suggestions, which means my reaction is up to me. I can view her rejection as a list of revisions instead. That means, I can do what I always do with revisions: Feel overwhelmed. Wait a few days to work on them. Then, start addressing each comment one at a time.
Even now, instead of feeling rejected or even overwhelmed, I'm getting excited. In a few days, these revisions won't seem so difficult to address. I'm pretty sure this is what it takes to succeed in this business: Just keep working!
Yes, you should really embrace the feedback, because most often, there is none given. After a while, rejection does roll off. In the absence of feedback, and if you think a piece is really good, the best thing to do is turn right around and send it out again. And, remember that even agent or editor feedback is also just opinion - unless they say it's not well-written, that's certainly food for thought. But if the suggestions are more subjective, then think about whether you agree with them - or not. Just because someone says it, doesn't make it so! If you see the validity in the suggestions, then you really have received a gift, and you have exactly the right attitude!
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